Le bon, la brute et le truand

Well.... Bonsoir.

The Good, the bad and the ugly is the only way I could describe these last few months.So here it goes...


Birthday celebrations

My parents and I outside Caesers Casino in NYC

I guess I have to say the most important news first. I AGED!!!! I am now a fully fledged adult of 21. I can now adopt, drive a 7.5 ton lorry down a motorway and drink in America. Wow. Who would have thought I would have made it to 21, being as debaucherous as I am? Not me, that's for sure. So, for those who don't know, my birthday ( aka the Royal Queens Jubilation ) was on the 4th of February. And because of my travels, I made my birthday last over a month- why not eh? To celebrate on the actual day, Elena and myself- aka my French countryside bestie- went to Paris and stayed in this super cool hotel that was swish and delightful. We went to a local restaurant to have a bottle of wine, and toasted my birthday with champagne while listening to Avril Lavigne. It was delightful. We then went to the catacombs ( see awkward moment (s) below to find out more ) and wandered around Paris. FANCY.

Then a few weeks later, my parents whisked me off to New York, of course. It was honestly the best present I could have ever got, and despite some light turbulence on the way over, it was perfect. Macy's, snowy Central Park, mountain-loads of food, too many margaritas and delightful company? Who could have asked for more? Not me anyway.

Best Friends

Then in March, my favorite girls came over to celebrate in Lille. We wandered around the city, met my French friends, had many MANY fails, got drenched, got very drunk, had brain hemorrhages, laughed way to much. Definitely a holiday we will never forget. Thanks again, girls, for coming over ( soppy but I DON'T CARE )

Travels galore

I can honestly say I don't think I have ever traveled as much as I have in these past 3 months. My passport ( or lack thereof ( see next paragraph ) ) is totally worn out!
First of all, in February, between my birthday and New York, Gunesh, Marianne, Suzanne and myself went to Dunkirk Carnival, where we saw many strange things, namely men dressed as women, fish being thrown out of the window and many drunk people ( maybe we added to this ). It was such a surreal experience but I am 100% going back next year. Wouldn't miss it, and would recommend to anyone that wants to experience strange French traditions!
Then I went to my old stomping ground of Aschaffenshit ( sorry- Aschaffenburg , old habits die hard ) to see all my old friends from Summer. It was a very drunken and gluttonous weekend, and big up to Thomas ( if you are reading this ) for letting me crash at yours for the weekend. Best German. It was so good to see all my Au Pair friends again, and speak some German- even if I did have a massive German ( or tequila ) induced headache.
Then I went to Paris with Rosie, where despite the Passport troubles, had an amazing time! I ate Vietnamese food and laughed wayyyy to much. I also met my old school friend Verity where we sang too many childhood anthems down the streets of Paris- why not?

Gunesh and I in Versailles

Barcelona next for Easter! ( See I told you I traveled alot ) And I FINALLY saw the sun.....and got burned. Merde. But I had an amazing time with Elena again! We saw the Sagrada Familia, the Cathedral and all of Gaudi's things.... and drank Sangria, walked along the beach and ate wayyy to many Tapas. What a perfect Easter!
I was meant to see Thomas in Marseille last weekend, but DAMN those French strikes. So alas, went to Versailles instead with Gunesh where we wandered around an old graveyard- what? And saw our future home- The Palace. Obvs.

SUNSHINE IN BARCA

This weekend I'm off to Brussels for a fabulously exuberant weekend with Elena and the week after I'm in Edinburgh again

TOLD YOU I TRAVELED ALOT

Paris disaster

I'm honestly such a lucky person. Nothing bad ever happens to me. Honestly, I'm like a walking rabbit foot.

This is a complete lie. I have the worst luck.

Sacre Coeur love

Paris. The city of love- also the city of PASSPORT AND BAG STEALERS. Yup, got my passport stolen didn't I? Looking back now, its not that much of a problem ( insurance pending ) but it was certainly a downer, and such an inconvenience. But 10000000% big up to Rosie who was fabulous and loaned me money and made me feel wonderful. Take her to Paris with you next time, best companion.

This did however mean, that I had to pay a visit to the British Embassy where I got a snazzy Emergency Passport and danced with the security guard when I got it. Is this weird? I don't even know anymore. France has changed my perception of weirdness.

Leaving and farewells


So next week is my final week here in Landrecies. And I have to be the first to admit, that it has not been a perfect stay. I was not in a city centre, nor am I now fluent in French, BUT I have had the BEST time here.

All my loves

The teachers and the students have been lovely, as have the friends I've made here. And I see now, why everyone rants and raves about their Year Abroad- forgive me if I too do this- but it has changed me. Not only have I learned to appreciate the smaller things in life, I also think I've grown as a person CORNY I KNOW, but this experience has been such a good'un and although my school wasn't the most central, I have been so lucky to have worked alongside some of the funniest and best teachers and kids. Lycee Dupleix- you've been gr8

German horizons

So, Mhairi, you're Year Abroad is over now right? LOL NO. I think I might go down in history for having one of the longest Year Abroad's ever.  After I finish in Landrecies- sob sob - I'm off to Bielefeld in North Germany to do a translating internship over the summer. I actually only have 1 week at home before I'm off, basically non stop until Uni starts again in September. Lol at me, but in all seriousness, I need all the help I can get.
On the plus side though, my landlord is hilarious ( see awkward moment (s) ) and I've found there is a BGIFC- Brownies in Germany- group just 15 minutes from where I will be living and working. Woohoo! ( Sorry this post is quickly becoming how geeky can Mhairi Mackay become )

Paris Birthday celebrations

Awkward moment of the month (s)

What would this blog be without it's fair share of awkward moments?? NOTHING that's what.

So in chronological order...

1) On my birthday, Elena and myself went to the catacombs of Paris. Which was so interesting and creepy, right up my street, BUT while we were walking through, this Indian attendant guy started talking to us. Innocent enough right? I thought this too.

I was wrong.

He then started telling us EVERYTHING like, about how the place is ran, and giving us our own personal tour. Then he gave Elena this creepy green skull bracelet and asked us if we wanted to go for a drink with him that night. And was trying to get our numbers, when we left him, he watched us go up the street and waved until we were out of sight. Best birthday present ever to be honest- a creepy Indian man. Lovely.

2) Also in Paris, but with Rosie, we were walking through the side streets, tres romantique, When we spotted this group of lads. Innocently enough we thought they were foreign- I dunno it was something about them. BIG MISTAKE. Obviously, due to our grave error, we started talking about them, saying which would you marry etc... just having a general lol, as you do. When one of them turned around and in a Birmingham accent asked us if there was a good restaurant around here.

No
Cringe
No
Please
No
God
Please

Needless to say, I physically cringed and couldn't move for a good few minutes. Rule number One- ALWAYS assume people speak English

3) Third and final awkward moment is a virtual awkward moment. While applying for flats in Bielefeld, I was emailing this woman, when she revealed to me, that she was an Au Pair in Edinburgh. I responded to her, with a mere few lines. What I recieved back, I was ill prepared for.

I was a 2 page long email about her ex Scottish boyfriend and his views and why they fell in/out of love, and how he thought all women should be silent and virgins ( which she did not agree with, Scandal ) and how she went on a Scottish tour with him and there was "no place at the Inn" so they had to sleep in the car etc etc etc.

I did not need to know this. Nor did I have any response to it. I am most looking forward to meeting this woman next year.

But France, I will miss you.

Merde.

xo

Point de non-retour

Festivities

NYE with the girls!

( -10 points for being a bad blogger and not uploading since last year (double bad points for that awful joke))

So I'm back in France! Yay!

Today marks 2 weeks of being back in Landrecies, and I've come back a new woman ( also cringe sorry I think this is the theme of this blog ). I'm throwing myself into French lifestyle and truly living life to its fullest- which incidentally was my New Years Resolution.

So, without further jabber, here's a brief recap of what I've been upto.

Two weeks of madness a la Dalkeith

So I went home for Christmas, and it was honestly amazing. I obviously spent wayyy to much money and drunk an obscene amount, but it was great. And I'm pretty sure my liver loves me now! I managed to see all my friends and rack a score of 13/14 nights out. Great going Mhairi.

Casual jaunt to Amsterdam.

So last week me and a few other assistants went to Amsterdam for the night. I love how I can do that. The company was amazing ( thanks guys ) and Amsterdam is an amazing city! We saw loads of things, including the Red Light district, where my friend Gunesh got a job offer. Suave. We saw the canals, and went on a boat ride- which was amazing. We went into a bar, and after about 30 mins the barman starting to BLARE "Scotland the Brave" and "500 miles". You can take the girl out of Scotland.....

Seeing France

On Wednesday I went to see my friend Rosie in Lille. We were so wholesome and rode around on bikes, and saw some very sexy rowers- which wasn't such a wholesome thought. And to my surprise it stayed a nice day! Well done France for not emulating the weather of Scotland. Cheers. xo

Also  me and Elena went on a casual jaunt to Saint Quentin, which is kind of near Paris. It was such a cute little town, and
I finally had some moules frites- which were amazing. ( see picture of me looking so overly chuffed ) Also as this was the day my ERASMUS grant came in - aka the true gift the gods have sent down - so of course we had some wine, and were chic and french. Bravo!

Bastille de St Quentin

Elena and myself have also booked Paris for my birthday- so I won't be spending my 21st alone in a tiny french town, instead we will be living it up in la grand ville being swish. Also, my mum is coming out for my 21st for a couple of days! I'm so excited to have my mum partake in debaucherous activities, party it up French style and get drunk off of too much wine ( if there is a thing ) !

Moules frites!!

Immersing myself into Landrecies Life

So I went out today on my bike. And I have never felt so unfit. Perhaps this is my awkward moment of the week? Painfully embarrassing. But aside from that, I am going along to the local Zumba classes tomorrow, so wish me luck- not only for the fitness side of things, but for the y'know....doing it all in French thing.

Merde.

A bientot!

xo

Avec le recul

Being sassy while Bowling

So I'm sitting here, on the Eve-Eve of my departure, starting to reflect on my first 3 months abroad in La belle France.

These past two weeks have been very adventurous. I went Ice Skating with a few other assistants, and was pleasantly surprised at my skillz. Now, I was no Michelle Kwan or anything, and my skating technique was not "traditional" but it worked. And I did not fall over! Also, I met another Scottish assistant! ( Bonjour if u r readin )

Also I went bowling with my besties Elena and Lauren, which was so much fun! I felt like I was 14 again, and of course we bumped into some of our pupils, why can't we ever escape!

Going home is quite daunting, people talk about this "reverse culture shock" and I'm deathly afraid of getting it. Not because I'm speaking copious amounts of French ( hahahahahahahahahaha! ) but because I'm so used to my life here. I'm used to my routine, the food I buy, seeing my friends on a regular basis, the trains, frankly the list is endless.

Elena, Lauren and Me at the American Diner!

I've lived in a few different places, but I've never felt so at home in such a short period of time. Even though my heart and soul is in Germany, France is slowly but surely growing on me- kind of like a benign tumor.

So here are five things I have discovered while living in France:

1) My life is FILLED with awkward moments

This has to be the first thing. Never in my life has anything been so awkward. You can read my last blog post for the most awkward experience of my life.

This weeks awkward moment has to be, when I fell over in front of about 100 pupils? The floor was slippy and I just went flying. It was not my finest hour, nor my most graceful. And now I have a big bum bruise to remind me of what a fool I am.


2) I have never watched as much Netflix in my life.

Being in a small town, with nothing much to do at night, Netflix is my only option. So much so, I've watched 9 season of Grey's Anatomy since the start of December. This is my life. And I have no shame. None at all. BUT I have joined a Tai Chi class in the New Year- exciting times ahead for Mhairi. I will keep you posted.

3) French children are delightful

All of my kids that I teach are so nice. They all shout at me if they see me, " Hello Mlle Mackay, Helloooooo" which is very cute. Also my older kids I teach stop me and have a conversation in the halls, which is very cool. But obviously there are a few strange ones- one even said "Swag" in a lesson. Good one there.


4) All I want is a Nandos

Some things in the UK I dont miss at all, namely the number 3 bus ride from Edinburgh to Dalkeith, the copious amounts of Uni work to do etc, but the one thing I miss the most is the food. You do not understand the craving I have for some good old fashion Nandos chicken. It is all I want in life. Also, while we are on the topic of food, I would also enjoy a Dominos, an Indian and a Chinese simultaneously  and a Greggs. Please, thank you.

5) I am enjoying France much more than I thought I would

Lauren, Fraser ( the Scot ) and Me at Ice Skating

When I first heard I was coming to the depths of the Nord, I died a little on the inside. BUT it isn't as bad as I thought. Sure, there isn't much of a nightlife- or anything for that matter. But that doesn't matter. What I've learned is to make everything the best it can be, if that is being very over excited for Bowling and Ice Skating, because that is an adventure for you now, then thats it! If its taking sorry that was really sappy )
pleasure in making a Ratatouille from scratch, then that's it. I think people take what they have for granted, and I'm so happy I can now take pleasure in the small things. (

So Scotland, I will see you in two days!

A Bientot

Bisous

xo

ça déchire sa mère

Translation? Its the dogs bollocks. Legit- that is what that phrase means. Use it at your leisure.

The fabulous jumper

Sorry it has been a while ( over a week! ) since my last blog post. But to be quite honest, I've just been living it up here in Landrecies. So much so I have become a celebrity- well I would like to think this.

People stop me in the street and ask me how I am, shopkeepers know me by name and all the students think I am a fashion icon. ( see picture xo )

Also I am speaking a lot more French ( yay me! ) and have discussed at length important topics like " The ratings of Christmas Markets throughout the Nord-pas-de-Calais" , " The origin of Irn Bru and its popularity in Scotland" and lest us forget " The difference between British and French water".

Me and Elena looking cute and cold in Lille

Thanks Edinburgh Uni, you've prepared me to discuss the important things in life.

Also, last weekend, I went to Lille with my friend Elena and met up with loads of other assistants ( if u r readin dis, u r all fabuluz xo ) which was amazing. I actually couldn't speak for a little bit because I was so overwhelmed with the Britishness and happiness of being outside my small town. We went to the Christmas Market, rode the Big Wheel, and let's just say- Edinburgh, you have NOTHING on French Christmas Markets.

Dome? No. Lille.

This weekend, I am going to a Christmas soiree, with some other assistants in Arras- which is the most beautiful city ever, above Paris. I will enjoy the many drinking activities that lie before me, and I URGE to play beer pong with actual people who play it.

But what would this blog be without my awkward moments?


This weeks awkward moment goes to....

My neighbour.

So it was about 4pm in the afternoon, I had finished teaching and was going to my flat ( I live in the school- SWAG ) and my neighbour was ahead of me on the stairs. When we got to the top, he waited for me and said Hello. ( what a nice man- I thought. How naive ) He then said to me in French;

" So this is pretty weird, but I am REALLY into British Sci Fi, in particular Doctor Who and I also love dubbed Manga, so I was wondering if you maybe wanted to come over to mine sometime and watch it? Or i could lend you it?"

CUTE BRIOCHE MAN

Wait? WHAT? Was this man coming on to me? My neighbour? How awkward. And also, do I look like someone who would enjoy Sci Fi? I mean, I like Back to the Future, but thats about how Sci Fi it gets for me. All this was going through my mind, and I had to say something..

" I'm really sorry I have to go inside I'm desperate for the toilet"

And we have not spoken since.

This was about a week and a half ago.

Merde.

A bientot!

Bisous, Mhairi

xo

J'ai la pêche

As you might be able to Google translate from the title, life is peachy right now. I've settled in, managed to NOT embarrass myself ( too much ) in French and met a sexy French man, ran away to the South of France, married and am now living the French dream.....

I can dream right?

Drunken family love

So last week my parents came to visit me! Never have I been happier because that meant I didn't have to spend any money! ( thanks again guys xo ). Also, small world, they met up with other assistants who knew me ( famous ), then I met the roomates of those assistants on Friday. A little late for the Halloween spookiness no? The only thing I realised though, is that NOTHING IS OPEN ON SUNDAYS.

I think they take pity on people in Landrecies, as we are small town dwellers, so they open a few things, namely bars and the supermarket for half the day- one thing Landrecies does right. But in Valenciennes, nothing. Nada. Except for one bar- which, of course, we spent the entire day in. Like parents like daughter I suppose!

PRAISE WAFFINES

Also this week, highlights include

•  getting locked in a stairwell with 20 pupils and having them all ask me questions in French and expecting me to fix the situation. I am an assistant, not a welder...or whatever could fix it. 
• Lauren and myself missing the train, wandering about a village for 2 hours trying to find the Mcdonalds, only to find it had not been built yet
• Tasting the true glory and magnificence that is a Waffine. I URGE you to come to me, so I can show you the 8th Wonder of the World.
• The lovely Lauren coming to Landrecies, belting out songs from Annie, and definitely being heard by my neighbours....oops

This weeks awkward moment : 

Whilst waiting in Le Quesnoy ( perhaps a more desolate town than Landrecies), for the train we missed, see point two above, we played I Spy-as two 20 year olds do. While doing so, we got a bit giddy and started talking about the lonely man sitting there too, making up long forgotten tales of his past lovers, lives, etc. 20 mins later, we hear him having a conversation, in English.

Merde.

When he left he shot us the dirtiest look ever.

So arty, so cultured.

Note to self- always assume people speak English.


Until next week

Bisous xo

An awkward girl in France.

I have never considered myself as an awkward person, nor a shy one. However; this has changed upon arrival in France.

The last two times I have lived abroad, I have been with a family, been confident and comfortable in the language ( ie- I could at least order something in a restaurant; a thing that is surprisingly difficult here ) and didn't have to partake in embarrassing things if I didn't want to. So my conclusion is-

Found out that tampon =stamp in french. Awkward.

France is an awkward country. ( or maybe it is just me?) ( this also has potential for being a title for my memoirs)

We can catagorise awkwardness in France into three main areas;

1. Awkwardness at Work
2. Awkwardness at Home
3. Awkwardness with the general public.

Awkwardness at Work.

Oh, work. You make me cringe on a daily basis. There is always a conversation I don't quite understand and just do my nod and smile technique, which clearly fools nobody. Or getting lost in a corridor, feeling like a First Year and having to retrace my steps in a most awkward and embarrassing fashion. However, the most awkward thing of all is the staff room.

Let me begin saying that not all of my staff room experiences have been bad. Infact today, someone told me I sounded like Jane Birkin when I speak French- which is a fabulous compliment because she was a very glam lady who birthed Charlotte Gainsbourg- ie my idol. But in general, it is not a happy place for me.

First of all, they all speak 4735456 miles an hour, in French, with accents- which does not please my French brain. Also, they stand in groups, and its just PURE awkwardness trying to go up to said group and begin a conversation. But to be honest, I don't blame them, if I just had two hours of teaching children who didn't know how to ask to go to the toilet in English, I would want to chatter to my friends too. So as a result, I have a 5 minute pee, then skulk back to my apartment for some Nutella.

Awkwardness at Home.

Jane Birkin herself. Resemblance?

As I live in the school, it is very different for me, as I live alongside Janiors and Nurses, who don't speak any English and can barely understand my "Jane Birkin" accent. ( Quel dommage- what a shame ) So I often bump into them, have the awkward conversations none of us can understand, then trot upstairs to my sactunary of English. WHICH IS OFTEN DISTURBED BY MY HOUSE PHONE. 

Nothing quite scares me more than having to speak on the phone in French, I consider myself to be quite good at German, and even doing it in German terrifies me. I often have to put the phone down because I purely cannot understand them, then leave it to ring when they realise we are no longer speaking- oops!

Awkwardness with the general public.

Oh dear- the general public..

Apart from the constant "Bonjour"'s which lift my spirits high and fill me with joy, France is pretty scary. For instance, I can't buy fruit or vegetables here at my supermarket, because I'm not quite sure how the machines work, and I'm terrified to ask, which results in me bulk buying fruit from the market on Saturdays.

Yesterday, I went to the launderette ( yes I know, I am Dot Cotton from Eastenders- believe me I feel like her going to a launderette ) and the whole place went on lockdown while I was there- for no reason! I was just sitting there, napping quietly while my things were washing, then the door locked, all the lights went out and there was one very scared Mhairi. I had to jam the door open and run out of there. Why did this happen?

Who knows. ( but if there is no update from me ) you know I will have been arrested for breaking out of a launderette.


In related ( lol ) news, my parents are coming to visit me! As I write this, they have just landed and are en route. I am most excited to revel in my awkward times with them.


Bisous xo

8 things I wish someone told me before I left for my YA....

Rebonjour!

So I start properly teaching next week, ahh! I can't believe it's so close, keep your fingers crossed for me. But as it is a Saturday night, and I'm half a bottle of Rose down..

How is this a derelict building?

here it goes... the 8 things I wish someone told me before I left for my YA.

1. You have forgotten something important.

When I finished packing my suitcase I was pretty chuffed. Not only because I managed to fit in a years worth of clothing, shoes, home stuff and unmentionables in one suitcase and a carry-on, but because I legitimately thought, that was it.

Oh how wrong I was. I wish someone had told me that, " Yes Mhairi, you will need that thing that you barely ever use so didn't pack ( a lint roller )" and " Of course you will need more than one pair of socks..."  Note to self; always bring at least five pairs of socks. But, alas, this is why I've invited my parents over next weekend....to bring my forgotten stuff. ( Sorry Mum )

2. Your French will suck.

I'm not being defeatist. My French is pretty horrible. Don't kid yourself that after 4 months of not speaking any French that it will flow naturally back to you. FOOL. This is not true. However, do realise that it is somewhere inside your brain, and just needs a few runs of Amelie to be awoken. Also listening to French music helps, I've recently been jamming out to French rap in my flat, much to the dismay of my neighbours. ( This is payback to my Katy Perry loving neighbour who insists on playing her every Sunday morning at 8am )

3. Bureaucracy is the devil

Never in my life have I had to fill out more paperwork, been bewildered by long and complicated words I wouldn't evenn understand in English, and signed my life away more than this month. However, once you get your shit together, its actually a piece of cake. ( Just remember all your forms to avoid stress eating on 4 packets of BN's a day ( oops ) )

So yeah...this is where I live

4. The Nord is actually nice.

I went on a walk today, and everyone I walked past said "hello" to me. What is this sorcery? Now; I come from a dodgy town, where even the slightest look into someones eyes could get you a good stabbing. But here? Everyone is truly interested and happy to see you. which actually, warms my heart. Gotta love you Nord.

5. Because your on your YA, you will YOLO it more than is technically required or necessary.

Last week I went to Berlin, got a tattoo and decided that a bottle of wine was my dinner. But who cares? Your only on your YA once....(#noregrets)

6. Making friends is hard.

Finding new friends anywhere is hard and takes work. And it is hard. But don't worry, you will find them, and they will like you. As I am now a seasoned Pro at living abroad, ( third time's a charm ) I know that the friends worth having, take a while longer to come around. << Brown Owl's wise words.


7. Life is just AWKWARD

Right now, my life is an awkward mess. From using the wrong word and TOTALLY screwing up a sentence, to getting lost in the small town you live in, to the ultimate awkwardness of the staff room. Now I have read many MANY blogs on YAs, but nobody mentions the sheer awkwardness that is the staff room at work. WHY?? And how can we all overcome it? Truth is...I don't know. ( If you want a visual, think....Cady going into Lunch at the start of Mean Girls, then x10000 ) But when I find a solution, expect a whole blog post dedicated to it. Its that much of an issue.

8. Homesickness

This is the main street....make of that what you will

Before coming on my YA I was adamant that I would feel homesick. But surprisngly its not the case. I'm not sure if it is the constant messaging with friends and Skyping ( amen ) or if I'm just older and wiser..... watch this space.


Until next time,

xo

( Vive la France )