J'ai la pêche

As you might be able to Google translate from the title, life is peachy right now. I've settled in, managed to NOT embarrass myself ( too much ) in French and met a sexy French man, ran away to the South of France, married and am now living the French dream.....

I can dream right?

Drunken family love

So last week my parents came to visit me! Never have I been happier because that meant I didn't have to spend any money! ( thanks again guys xo ). Also, small world, they met up with other assistants who knew me ( famous ), then I met the roomates of those assistants on Friday. A little late for the Halloween spookiness no? The only thing I realised though, is that NOTHING IS OPEN ON SUNDAYS.

I think they take pity on people in Landrecies, as we are small town dwellers, so they open a few things, namely bars and the supermarket for half the day- one thing Landrecies does right. But in Valenciennes, nothing. Nada. Except for one bar- which, of course, we spent the entire day in. Like parents like daughter I suppose!

PRAISE WAFFINES

Also this week, highlights include

•  getting locked in a stairwell with 20 pupils and having them all ask me questions in French and expecting me to fix the situation. I am an assistant, not a welder...or whatever could fix it. 
• Lauren and myself missing the train, wandering about a village for 2 hours trying to find the Mcdonalds, only to find it had not been built yet
• Tasting the true glory and magnificence that is a Waffine. I URGE you to come to me, so I can show you the 8th Wonder of the World.
• The lovely Lauren coming to Landrecies, belting out songs from Annie, and definitely being heard by my neighbours....oops

This weeks awkward moment : 

Whilst waiting in Le Quesnoy ( perhaps a more desolate town than Landrecies), for the train we missed, see point two above, we played I Spy-as two 20 year olds do. While doing so, we got a bit giddy and started talking about the lonely man sitting there too, making up long forgotten tales of his past lovers, lives, etc. 20 mins later, we hear him having a conversation, in English.

Merde.

When he left he shot us the dirtiest look ever.

So arty, so cultured.

Note to self- always assume people speak English.


Until next week

Bisous xo

An awkward girl in France.

I have never considered myself as an awkward person, nor a shy one. However; this has changed upon arrival in France.

The last two times I have lived abroad, I have been with a family, been confident and comfortable in the language ( ie- I could at least order something in a restaurant; a thing that is surprisingly difficult here ) and didn't have to partake in embarrassing things if I didn't want to. So my conclusion is-

Found out that tampon =stamp in french. Awkward.

France is an awkward country. ( or maybe it is just me?) ( this also has potential for being a title for my memoirs)

We can catagorise awkwardness in France into three main areas;

1. Awkwardness at Work
2. Awkwardness at Home
3. Awkwardness with the general public.

Awkwardness at Work.

Oh, work. You make me cringe on a daily basis. There is always a conversation I don't quite understand and just do my nod and smile technique, which clearly fools nobody. Or getting lost in a corridor, feeling like a First Year and having to retrace my steps in a most awkward and embarrassing fashion. However, the most awkward thing of all is the staff room.

Let me begin saying that not all of my staff room experiences have been bad. Infact today, someone told me I sounded like Jane Birkin when I speak French- which is a fabulous compliment because she was a very glam lady who birthed Charlotte Gainsbourg- ie my idol. But in general, it is not a happy place for me.

First of all, they all speak 4735456 miles an hour, in French, with accents- which does not please my French brain. Also, they stand in groups, and its just PURE awkwardness trying to go up to said group and begin a conversation. But to be honest, I don't blame them, if I just had two hours of teaching children who didn't know how to ask to go to the toilet in English, I would want to chatter to my friends too. So as a result, I have a 5 minute pee, then skulk back to my apartment for some Nutella.

Awkwardness at Home.

Jane Birkin herself. Resemblance?

As I live in the school, it is very different for me, as I live alongside Janiors and Nurses, who don't speak any English and can barely understand my "Jane Birkin" accent. ( Quel dommage- what a shame ) So I often bump into them, have the awkward conversations none of us can understand, then trot upstairs to my sactunary of English. WHICH IS OFTEN DISTURBED BY MY HOUSE PHONE. 

Nothing quite scares me more than having to speak on the phone in French, I consider myself to be quite good at German, and even doing it in German terrifies me. I often have to put the phone down because I purely cannot understand them, then leave it to ring when they realise we are no longer speaking- oops!

Awkwardness with the general public.

Oh dear- the general public..

Apart from the constant "Bonjour"'s which lift my spirits high and fill me with joy, France is pretty scary. For instance, I can't buy fruit or vegetables here at my supermarket, because I'm not quite sure how the machines work, and I'm terrified to ask, which results in me bulk buying fruit from the market on Saturdays.

Yesterday, I went to the launderette ( yes I know, I am Dot Cotton from Eastenders- believe me I feel like her going to a launderette ) and the whole place went on lockdown while I was there- for no reason! I was just sitting there, napping quietly while my things were washing, then the door locked, all the lights went out and there was one very scared Mhairi. I had to jam the door open and run out of there. Why did this happen?

Who knows. ( but if there is no update from me ) you know I will have been arrested for breaking out of a launderette.


In related ( lol ) news, my parents are coming to visit me! As I write this, they have just landed and are en route. I am most excited to revel in my awkward times with them.


Bisous xo

8 things I wish someone told me before I left for my YA....

Rebonjour!

So I start properly teaching next week, ahh! I can't believe it's so close, keep your fingers crossed for me. But as it is a Saturday night, and I'm half a bottle of Rose down..

How is this a derelict building?

here it goes... the 8 things I wish someone told me before I left for my YA.

1. You have forgotten something important.

When I finished packing my suitcase I was pretty chuffed. Not only because I managed to fit in a years worth of clothing, shoes, home stuff and unmentionables in one suitcase and a carry-on, but because I legitimately thought, that was it.

Oh how wrong I was. I wish someone had told me that, " Yes Mhairi, you will need that thing that you barely ever use so didn't pack ( a lint roller )" and " Of course you will need more than one pair of socks..."  Note to self; always bring at least five pairs of socks. But, alas, this is why I've invited my parents over next weekend....to bring my forgotten stuff. ( Sorry Mum )

2. Your French will suck.

I'm not being defeatist. My French is pretty horrible. Don't kid yourself that after 4 months of not speaking any French that it will flow naturally back to you. FOOL. This is not true. However, do realise that it is somewhere inside your brain, and just needs a few runs of Amelie to be awoken. Also listening to French music helps, I've recently been jamming out to French rap in my flat, much to the dismay of my neighbours. ( This is payback to my Katy Perry loving neighbour who insists on playing her every Sunday morning at 8am )

3. Bureaucracy is the devil

Never in my life have I had to fill out more paperwork, been bewildered by long and complicated words I wouldn't evenn understand in English, and signed my life away more than this month. However, once you get your shit together, its actually a piece of cake. ( Just remember all your forms to avoid stress eating on 4 packets of BN's a day ( oops ) )

So yeah...this is where I live

4. The Nord is actually nice.

I went on a walk today, and everyone I walked past said "hello" to me. What is this sorcery? Now; I come from a dodgy town, where even the slightest look into someones eyes could get you a good stabbing. But here? Everyone is truly interested and happy to see you. which actually, warms my heart. Gotta love you Nord.

5. Because your on your YA, you will YOLO it more than is technically required or necessary.

Last week I went to Berlin, got a tattoo and decided that a bottle of wine was my dinner. But who cares? Your only on your YA once....(#noregrets)

6. Making friends is hard.

Finding new friends anywhere is hard and takes work. And it is hard. But don't worry, you will find them, and they will like you. As I am now a seasoned Pro at living abroad, ( third time's a charm ) I know that the friends worth having, take a while longer to come around. << Brown Owl's wise words.


7. Life is just AWKWARD

Right now, my life is an awkward mess. From using the wrong word and TOTALLY screwing up a sentence, to getting lost in the small town you live in, to the ultimate awkwardness of the staff room. Now I have read many MANY blogs on YAs, but nobody mentions the sheer awkwardness that is the staff room at work. WHY?? And how can we all overcome it? Truth is...I don't know. ( If you want a visual, think....Cady going into Lunch at the start of Mean Girls, then x10000 ) But when I find a solution, expect a whole blog post dedicated to it. Its that much of an issue.

8. Homesickness

This is the main street....make of that what you will

Before coming on my YA I was adamant that I would feel homesick. But surprisngly its not the case. I'm not sure if it is the constant messaging with friends and Skyping ( amen ) or if I'm just older and wiser..... watch this space.


Until next time,

xo

( Vive la France )