An awkward girl in France.

I have never considered myself as an awkward person, nor a shy one. However; this has changed upon arrival in France.

The last two times I have lived abroad, I have been with a family, been confident and comfortable in the language ( ie- I could at least order something in a restaurant; a thing that is surprisingly difficult here ) and didn't have to partake in embarrassing things if I didn't want to. So my conclusion is-

Found out that tampon =stamp in french. Awkward.

France is an awkward country. ( or maybe it is just me?) ( this also has potential for being a title for my memoirs)

We can catagorise awkwardness in France into three main areas;

1. Awkwardness at Work
2. Awkwardness at Home
3. Awkwardness with the general public.

Awkwardness at Work.

Oh, work. You make me cringe on a daily basis. There is always a conversation I don't quite understand and just do my nod and smile technique, which clearly fools nobody. Or getting lost in a corridor, feeling like a First Year and having to retrace my steps in a most awkward and embarrassing fashion. However, the most awkward thing of all is the staff room.

Let me begin saying that not all of my staff room experiences have been bad. Infact today, someone told me I sounded like Jane Birkin when I speak French- which is a fabulous compliment because she was a very glam lady who birthed Charlotte Gainsbourg- ie my idol. But in general, it is not a happy place for me.

First of all, they all speak 4735456 miles an hour, in French, with accents- which does not please my French brain. Also, they stand in groups, and its just PURE awkwardness trying to go up to said group and begin a conversation. But to be honest, I don't blame them, if I just had two hours of teaching children who didn't know how to ask to go to the toilet in English, I would want to chatter to my friends too. So as a result, I have a 5 minute pee, then skulk back to my apartment for some Nutella.

Awkwardness at Home.

Jane Birkin herself. Resemblance?

As I live in the school, it is very different for me, as I live alongside Janiors and Nurses, who don't speak any English and can barely understand my "Jane Birkin" accent. ( Quel dommage- what a shame ) So I often bump into them, have the awkward conversations none of us can understand, then trot upstairs to my sactunary of English. WHICH IS OFTEN DISTURBED BY MY HOUSE PHONE. 

Nothing quite scares me more than having to speak on the phone in French, I consider myself to be quite good at German, and even doing it in German terrifies me. I often have to put the phone down because I purely cannot understand them, then leave it to ring when they realise we are no longer speaking- oops!

Awkwardness with the general public.

Oh dear- the general public..

Apart from the constant "Bonjour"'s which lift my spirits high and fill me with joy, France is pretty scary. For instance, I can't buy fruit or vegetables here at my supermarket, because I'm not quite sure how the machines work, and I'm terrified to ask, which results in me bulk buying fruit from the market on Saturdays.

Yesterday, I went to the launderette ( yes I know, I am Dot Cotton from Eastenders- believe me I feel like her going to a launderette ) and the whole place went on lockdown while I was there- for no reason! I was just sitting there, napping quietly while my things were washing, then the door locked, all the lights went out and there was one very scared Mhairi. I had to jam the door open and run out of there. Why did this happen?

Who knows. ( but if there is no update from me ) you know I will have been arrested for breaking out of a launderette.


In related ( lol ) news, my parents are coming to visit me! As I write this, they have just landed and are en route. I am most excited to revel in my awkward times with them.


Bisous xo